I thought your first story was a really fun one to read, it almost reminded me of mine (shameless plug). It reminded me of the story Scheherazade - maybe you should look into it for an extra credit reading - I think you would like it. I thought the writing was great but wanted it to be more detailed. I wanted colors and the vivid imagery - maybe add a story of what the parrot would tell her to keep her there for so long. I would also like to see what the other bird looks like (I just like looking at pictures.) Overall I thought this was a really fun story to read and it definitely kept me interested. I hope to read more like this!
I enjoyed reading your story. I like reading stories that are in Third Person. I think I like them better because I feel like the story is more personal that way. My Storybook is written in third person as well! I like the creativity you put into making the plot twist. I have not read the original story but I think I might do it as an extra reading because you wrote this story very well and I wonder is the original story is as good. This story is a little humorous to me as well because it is told from a parrots point of view. As I was reading the story, I could hear a parrot speaking. I am looking forward to reading more of t your stories that are told form the Parrots point of view.
Nice story, Morgan! I like your adaptation to a first-person perspective from the parrot's point-of-view. I did catch a grammar mistake in your first paragraph. "I am much more wise..." That should be "much wiser." The rest of your story seemed fine. It was all put together well. Nice job!
Hi, my best friend! How did our relationship go wrong? We used to be best friend together for almost 500 years. Although i was born from the stone egg, but you didn't see me like a monster from the beginning. Even though people around me looked at me at the different eyes, you still treated me kindly. We used to be close, why not anymore? You know me clearly that the only way i could receive the respect of others was to win that contest. And I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't harm any people, i just choose the safe and the most clever way to pass the test. The contest was about passing the waterfall without being hurt. So, everyone had the option to choose to walk on the bridge, but they didn't. This improved that i was the most smart ape among us. I knew you are smart and brave,too. You shouldn't look enviously at me because everybody worshiped the one they found the most trust, and strongest. You could prove that you was the strongest in just one contest, but you had to put effort in many many years for others to trust you. It costed me 500 years to gain the title "Monkey King". Anyway, I still believed in our friendship. Hope to see you back soon.
Hi Morgan! So with your first story in your Portfolio the last sentence: "Unfortunately, the conversation with the King of the Apes did not go as well as I originally expected. He told me that the believed t" I think that there is something missing at the end. I do like this view on the Monkey King, rebellion. I like how the Monkey King's best friend almost got the other apes on his side. The second story: Tragedy from a Parrot's View. I really enjoyed how you wrote this story from the parrot's view. I found it was surprising that Miemun wanted his wife to cheat on him with the other prince so he could have a new lover come live with him. Why/How did he fall for his new lover? What if the parrot had went with Miemun on his journey?
Hi Morgan! I just finished reading your first story, "King of the Apes." I love how you started the story off. It was a great way to draw your audience in and want to continue reading to find out more. I also loved how there seemed to be a sort of humor in the voice of the monkey telling the story. Humor in stories is always a cherry on top for me. The only problem I saw with it was that I think you might've accidentally left out the ending of your story. It cuts off mid sentence and really leaves us hanging (unless that is what you were trying to do). I did like how you decided to change the story from the original! Good job!
Hey Morgan, This is my first time going through your portfolio and so far I've truly enjoyed it! I think the ideas behind both of the stories you have are great and really give you a lot of freedom to personalize it. I especially liked the King of the Apes story. I think taking this point of view was really creative and thought provoking. I doubt anyone else of that time ever thought of questioning a king who was as revered as a god! While I did enjoy the story, I feel like it may be cut off unintentionally there at the end? Perhaps during an editing session the published portion got a little messed up. Also I think that story could benefit from a little more information in the author's note about the rise of the monkey king just so the readers are a little more informed about the background of the story. Overall I really enjoyed your writing and look forward to reading more!
Hey there Morgan! I just had the chance to look at your portfolio project this semester. I really liked the stories that you chose, and your author's note was very helpful to me considering I am in Professor Gibbs' Indian Epics class, and therefore haven't read the same stories that you all have in your myth and folklore class. You have a great style of writing and I could really appreciate how you changed up some portions of the original story all while keeping the main idea/ moral of the story on the right track. I wanted to know a little more information in regards to the ending of your stories, because you did such a great job building them up, they deserve to have an ending that is just as glamorous. Maybe you could also try to take some time to add some pizzaz to your site in regards to changing up the font, adding some more pictures, etc. to just make the site look a little more appealing. Simplicity is nice, but adding a little bit can make a big difference. Keep up the good work, and I look forward to checking out your portfolio in the future!
Hey Morgan, I have just finished reading your second story, Tragedy from a Parrot's View, and I was intrigued at the message behind the story. I like how the parrot was being taken for granted and slept on by everyone who the parrot has ever encountered . I think the parrot being a wise animal was a distinctive element in building up the character. In particularly, I also thought it was really clever how you told the story from third-person perspective just like the original and changed up the ending. I wonder if it was a last minute idea to change up the ending or did you have this choice in mind when talking about the original story? Aside from that, I also found the ending a bit confusing with how the adulterous partner was killed. Im gonna re-read it again to get a grasp of what you wrote but overall I thought you did an awesome job recreating your original story, Keep up the good work.
Hello Morgan, I really enjoyed your story which was a twist on the original monkey king story. I thought it was very cool to see the view of another character within the story. The original story is so focused around the monkey king that you almost forget to realize that there are so many other different views and thoughts from other characters. Having one of the Monkey Kings friend’s question why the Monkey King is in power was such a good idea to talk about. Overall I thought your story flowed very well and was written really nicely. One thing though, is that the spaces in between the paragraphs are kind of big and are not all consistently the same size. Those are the only things I would change for the story. Also you portfolio looks good, the only thing I would add is a link to your comment wall. Overall everything was great, keep up the good work!
Hi Morgan, I enjoyed reading your story The King of the Apes, and I liked you how changed it from the original story. I like the theme of not blindly following someone just to follow them but striving to follow someone for a just cause. I think you chose a great perspective to take on this story. I did notice that sometimes “Monkey King” was capitalized and other times it was not. It is probably best to be consistent with the title. Also, I think the ending of your story is could provide a great lead in to another story (or you could add more to this story). For example, you could write about if the expelled monkey found another kingdom and ruled as king, etc. This could really add a twist and another element to your story. Your story was easy to follow and was good at keeping focus and attention. Overall, great job!
3. Hi Morgan! I like how your stories in your portfolio have somewhat of a connection! The first person view from the animals is very creative on your part and it adds a whole other depth to the stories. I really loved the twist you added from the original stories. I have previously read The Ape Sun Wu Kung story, so the dialogue and point of view you wrote in is very intriguing. I do not think you need to add anymore to your stories, but I think it would be a little easier to read it you centered your text in each of your stories. Other than that, I thought your stories were great and your portfolio is very remarkable. For your next story, I would love to see you add another story about an animal and write in first person. The way you wrote your stories is unique and I think you should keep with that theme!
Oh wow, you put quite a twist on the ending of the Parrot story!! I had read both of the original stories you used, but loved your versions very much. I love reading stories from the viewpoint of the animals. I never saw the twist coming on the parrot story though. I've read a few versions of it, but never with that twist. Great job & keep up the good work!
Hey Morgan! I read both of your stories from your project and they were both so good! The King of the Apes story did not end how I was expecting. I thought he would be challenged and in turn have to give up his throne but there was definitely a twist. I noticed a couple of grammar mistakes toward the end but they were not too bad. Your second story had me on edge the whole time! I was so unsure of how it would end or what was going to happen! That would be the saddest thing ever and that definitely was a tragedy! He was not a very good guy and so that makes me wonder if the parrot would stick around after he did so much to make the relationship remain somewhat healthy? I am definitely intrigued with your stories thus far and I am looking forward to reading some another! You are good at adding an unexpected twist at the end!
Hi Morgan, I enjoyed reading both of your stories! You wrote them both very well, and your author's notes on both of them were very informative, considering I have not read either of the stories you referenced off of. The notes were very clear in telling the reader how you came up with your own story from the original ones. There were a couple things that I noticed in reading both the stories, the one that bothered me the most being the irregular paragraph spacing. In both your stories, there are some paragraphs that seem to have two spaces between them while others only have one, so it kind of confused me. There were also a couple of grammatical issues I noticed but nothing that affected the readability of the stories. Keep up the good work!
Hi Morgan. I really enjoyed your portfolio and look forward to you adding some more stories. I have actually read the original story of your story "King of the Apes." It was nice being able to see the similarities and differences that you had. It is also pretty cool that your portfolio seems to have a common theme. Will your next story include animals as well? I think that would be a fun thing to continue throughout. Can't wait to see how you finish it up. Good luck and good job so far!
Hey Morgan! The Creation Re-Imagined story you led with was such a great story and a solid take on the many different creation stories that existed within the Indian tribes. I was saddened that the coyote killed the eagle in the end, but I understand that it was necessary as a way to build the story. It was also awesome getting to read your Monkey King story once again. I'm glad that it made the cut for your portfolio. I love that we get to hear the story from one of the other monkey's perspectives rather than a story simply worshiping the king. Your story about the parrot was just as great as the others. I don't really like Miemun at the end of the story though, especially with the revelation that he was sending the prince with the hope of being able to kill his wife for adultery. That was a great and creative touch to make it a twist ending, I must admit. Great job with your portfolio!
Hey Morgan, I just read through your storybook and I have to say that it was a fun read! I think that the wow moment for me was definitely the last story about the parrot. I didn't expect for the husband to have set the whole thing up. I wonder how that made the parrot feel? Did he feel betrayed? Did he wish that he hadn't told him about his wife. I wonder what the parrot will do now that he has found out his owner is a liar and a murderer. Will he tell the officials what happened? I'm not sure if you're doing any editing for week 15, but if you are, what if you wrote a little more at the end about what the parrot felt and what he is going to do next, because I feel like now his loyalty and his honesty are pitted against one another. It could be really interesting! If you aren't doing revisions though, congrats on finishing the class! Good job on the project!
Hey Morgan. I just read your portfolio and really enjoyed the stories. The first story Creation Reimagined was very sad to me because in the beginning the eagle was lonely but then the old man had made him a coyote to spend time with. Later on the old man had grown jealous and basically made it so that they would kill each other. I wondered on why the old man had become so jealous and why he didn't just join the two of them so he could enjoy himself as well. Also the story King of Apes stood out to me as well because it was funny to see that one of the apes was ready to overthrow the king and even gathered followers. When he challenged the king the king denied basically because he thought he was too good for that. Overall I really enjoyed your portfolio and it was cool to see that they all included animals.
Hey Morgan! What a creative portfolio! I love how in this class people are so creative and think of things in way that I have never imagined. To rethink creation altogether is a big undertaking and I loved reading what you wrote in your first story. Spinning this story this way was fun and new, but you still kept parts from the original so you were staying true to your source! My favorite was probably the one from the Parrot’s view though! I loved that you wrote a story from an animal’s point of view. I think about what animals are thinking about because they are so interesting and mysterious. I am pretty sure my dog is a human trapped in dog’s body and can speak English but isn’t just to spite me. It is a twisted story though and I cannot believe the parrot told on the wife and that the wife died. You did a great job though and I loved reading your portfolio.
Hi Morgan!
ReplyDeleteI thought your first story was a really fun one to read, it almost reminded me of mine (shameless plug). It reminded me of the story Scheherazade - maybe you should look into it for an extra credit reading - I think you would like it. I thought the writing was great but wanted it to be more detailed. I wanted colors and the vivid imagery - maybe add a story of what the parrot would tell her to keep her there for so long. I would also like to see what the other bird looks like (I just like looking at pictures.) Overall I thought this was a really fun story to read and it definitely kept me interested. I hope to read more like this!
Danielle
Hello Morgan!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your story. I like reading stories that are in Third Person. I think I like them better because I feel like the story is more personal that way. My Storybook is written in third person as well! I like the creativity you put into making the plot twist. I have not read the original story but I think I might do it as an extra reading because you wrote this story very well and I wonder is the original story is as good. This story is a little humorous to me as well because it is told from a parrots point of view. As I was reading the story, I could hear a parrot speaking. I am looking forward to reading more of t your stories that are told form the Parrots point of view.
Nice story, Morgan! I like your adaptation to a first-person perspective from the parrot's point-of-view. I did catch a grammar mistake in your first paragraph. "I am much more wise..." That should be "much wiser." The rest of your story seemed fine. It was all put together well. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteHi, my best friend! How did our relationship go wrong? We used to be best friend together for almost 500 years. Although i was born from the stone egg, but you didn't see me like a monster from the beginning. Even though people around me looked at me at the different eyes, you still treated me kindly. We used to be close, why not anymore? You know me clearly that the only way i could receive the respect of others was to win that contest. And I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't harm any people, i just choose the safe and the most clever way to pass the test. The contest was about passing the waterfall without being hurt. So, everyone had the option to choose to walk on the bridge, but they didn't. This improved that i was the most smart ape among us. I knew you are smart and brave,too. You shouldn't look enviously at me because everybody worshiped the one they found the most trust, and strongest. You could prove that you was the strongest in just one contest, but you had to put effort in many many years for others to trust you. It costed me 500 years to gain the title "Monkey King". Anyway, I still believed in our friendship. Hope to see you back soon.
ReplyDeleteHi Morgan!
ReplyDeleteSo with your first story in your Portfolio the last sentence: "Unfortunately, the conversation with the King of the Apes did not go as well as I originally expected. He told me that the believed t" I think that there is something missing at the end. I do like this view on the Monkey King, rebellion. I like how the Monkey King's best friend almost got the other apes on his side.
The second story: Tragedy from a Parrot's View. I really enjoyed how you wrote this story from the parrot's view. I found it was surprising that Miemun wanted his wife to cheat on him with the other prince so he could have a new lover come live with him. Why/How did he fall for his new lover? What if the parrot had went with Miemun on his journey?
Hi Morgan!
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading your first story, "King of the Apes." I love how you started the story off. It was a great way to draw your audience in and want to continue reading to find out more. I also loved how there seemed to be a sort of humor in the voice of the monkey telling the story. Humor in stories is always a cherry on top for me. The only problem I saw with it was that I think you might've accidentally left out the ending of your story. It cuts off mid sentence and really leaves us hanging (unless that is what you were trying to do). I did like how you decided to change the story from the original! Good job!
Hey Morgan,
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time going through your portfolio and so far I've truly enjoyed it! I think the ideas behind both of the stories you have are great and really give you a lot of freedom to personalize it. I especially liked the King of the Apes story. I think taking this point of view was really creative and thought provoking. I doubt anyone else of that time ever thought of questioning a king who was as revered as a god! While I did enjoy the story, I feel like it may be cut off unintentionally there at the end? Perhaps during an editing session the published portion got a little messed up. Also I think that story could benefit from a little more information in the author's note about the rise of the monkey king just so the readers are a little more informed about the background of the story. Overall I really enjoyed your writing and look forward to reading more!
Hey there Morgan! I just had the chance to look at your portfolio project this semester. I really liked the stories that you chose, and your author's note was very helpful to me considering I am in Professor Gibbs' Indian Epics class, and therefore haven't read the same stories that you all have in your myth and folklore class. You have a great style of writing and I could really appreciate how you changed up some portions of the original story all while keeping the main idea/ moral of the story on the right track. I wanted to know a little more information in regards to the ending of your stories, because you did such a great job building them up, they deserve to have an ending that is just as glamorous. Maybe you could also try to take some time to add some pizzaz to your site in regards to changing up the font, adding some more pictures, etc. to just make the site look a little more appealing. Simplicity is nice, but adding a little bit can make a big difference. Keep up the good work, and I look forward to checking out your portfolio in the future!
ReplyDeleteHey Morgan, I have just finished reading your second story, Tragedy from a Parrot's View, and I was intrigued at the message behind the story. I like how the parrot was being taken for granted and slept on by everyone who the parrot has ever encountered . I think the parrot being a wise animal was a distinctive element in building up the character. In particularly, I also thought it was really clever how you told the story from third-person perspective just like the original and changed up the ending. I wonder if it was a last minute idea to change up the ending or did you have this choice in mind when talking about the original story? Aside from that, I also found the ending a bit confusing with how the adulterous partner was killed. Im gonna re-read it again to get a grasp of what you wrote but overall I thought you did an awesome job recreating your original story, Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteHello Morgan, I really enjoyed your story which was a twist on the original monkey king story. I thought it was very cool to see the view of another character within the story. The original story is so focused around the monkey king that you almost forget to realize that there are so many other different views and thoughts from other characters. Having one of the Monkey Kings friend’s question why the Monkey King is in power was such a good idea to talk about. Overall I thought your story flowed very well and was written really nicely. One thing though, is that the spaces in between the paragraphs are kind of big and are not all consistently the same size. Those are the only things I would change for the story. Also you portfolio looks good, the only thing I would add is a link to your comment wall. Overall everything was great, keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Morgan, I enjoyed reading your story The King of the Apes, and I liked you how changed it from the original story. I like the theme of not blindly following someone just to follow them but striving to follow someone for a just cause. I think you chose a great perspective to take on this story. I did notice that sometimes “Monkey King” was capitalized and other times it was not. It is probably best to be consistent with the title. Also, I think the ending of your story is could provide a great lead in to another story (or you could add more to this story). For example, you could write about if the expelled monkey found another kingdom and ruled as king, etc. This could really add a twist and another element to your story. Your story was easy to follow and was good at keeping focus and attention. Overall, great job!
ReplyDelete3. Hi Morgan! I like how your stories in your portfolio have somewhat of a connection! The first person view from the animals is very creative on your part and it adds a whole other depth to the stories. I really loved the twist you added from the original stories. I have previously read The Ape Sun Wu Kung story, so the dialogue and point of view you wrote in is very intriguing. I do not think you need to add anymore to your stories, but I think it would be a little easier to read it you centered your text in each of your stories. Other than that, I thought your stories were great and your portfolio is very remarkable. For your next story, I would love to see you add another story about an animal and write in first person. The way you wrote your stories is unique and I think you should keep with that theme!
ReplyDeleteOh wow, you put quite a twist on the ending of the Parrot story!! I had read both of the original stories you used, but loved your versions very much. I love reading stories from the viewpoint of the animals. I never saw the twist coming on the parrot story though. I've read a few versions of it, but never with that twist. Great job & keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey Morgan! I read both of your stories from your project and they were both so good! The King of the Apes story did not end how I was expecting. I thought he would be challenged and in turn have to give up his throne but there was definitely a twist. I noticed a couple of grammar mistakes toward the end but they were not too bad. Your second story had me on edge the whole time! I was so unsure of how it would end or what was going to happen! That would be the saddest thing ever and that definitely was a tragedy! He was not a very good guy and so that makes me wonder if the parrot would stick around after he did so much to make the relationship remain somewhat healthy? I am definitely intrigued with your stories thus far and I am looking forward to reading some another! You are good at adding an unexpected twist at the end!
ReplyDeleteHi Morgan, I enjoyed reading both of your stories! You wrote them both very well, and your author's notes on both of them were very informative, considering I have not read either of the stories you referenced off of. The notes were very clear in telling the reader how you came up with your own story from the original ones. There were a couple things that I noticed in reading both the stories, the one that bothered me the most being the irregular paragraph spacing. In both your stories, there are some paragraphs that seem to have two spaces between them while others only have one, so it kind of confused me. There were also a couple of grammatical issues I noticed but nothing that affected the readability of the stories. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Morgan. I really enjoyed your portfolio and look forward to you adding some more stories. I have actually read the original story of your story "King of the Apes." It was nice being able to see the similarities and differences that you had. It is also pretty cool that your portfolio seems to have a common theme. Will your next story include animals as well? I think that would be a fun thing to continue throughout. Can't wait to see how you finish it up. Good luck and good job so far!
ReplyDeleteHey Morgan! The Creation Re-Imagined story you led with was such a great story and a solid take on the many different creation stories that existed within the Indian tribes. I was saddened that the coyote killed the eagle in the end, but I understand that it was necessary as a way to build the story. It was also awesome getting to read your Monkey King story once again. I'm glad that it made the cut for your portfolio. I love that we get to hear the story from one of the other monkey's perspectives rather than a story simply worshiping the king. Your story about the parrot was just as great as the others. I don't really like Miemun at the end of the story though, especially with the revelation that he was sending the prince with the hope of being able to kill his wife for adultery. That was a great and creative touch to make it a twist ending, I must admit. Great job with your portfolio!
ReplyDeleteHey Morgan,
ReplyDeleteI just read through your storybook and I have to say that it was a fun read! I think that the wow moment for me was definitely the last story about the parrot. I didn't expect for the husband to have set the whole thing up. I wonder how that made the parrot feel? Did he feel betrayed? Did he wish that he hadn't told him about his wife. I wonder what the parrot will do now that he has found out his owner is a liar and a murderer. Will he tell the officials what happened? I'm not sure if you're doing any editing for week 15, but if you are, what if you wrote a little more at the end about what the parrot felt and what he is going to do next, because I feel like now his loyalty and his honesty are pitted against one another. It could be really interesting! If you aren't doing revisions though, congrats on finishing the class! Good job on the project!
Hey Morgan. I just read your portfolio and really enjoyed the stories. The first story Creation Reimagined was very sad to me because in the beginning the eagle was lonely but then the old man had made him a coyote to spend time with. Later on the old man had grown jealous and basically made it so that they would kill each other. I wondered on why the old man had become so jealous and why he didn't just join the two of them so he could enjoy himself as well. Also the story King of Apes stood out to me as well because it was funny to see that one of the apes was ready to overthrow the king and even gathered followers. When he challenged the king the king denied basically because he thought he was too good for that. Overall I really enjoyed your portfolio and it was cool to see that they all included animals.
ReplyDeleteHey Morgan!
ReplyDeleteWhat a creative portfolio! I love how in this class people are so creative and think of things in way that I have never imagined. To rethink creation altogether is a big undertaking and I loved reading what you wrote in your first story. Spinning this story this way was fun and new, but you still kept parts from the original so you were staying true to your source! My favorite was probably the one from the Parrot’s view though! I loved that you wrote a story from an animal’s point of view. I think about what animals are thinking about because they are so interesting and mysterious. I am pretty sure my dog is a human trapped in dog’s body and can speak English but isn’t just to spite me. It is a twisted story though and I cannot believe the parrot told on the wife and that the wife died. You did a great job though and I loved reading your portfolio.